In a perfect world there would be no fighting. Everyone would be nice to one another and there would be no drama. Everyone would instantly like everyone.. Sadly there is no chance of that ever happening, ever… I feel mostly due to an individuals lack of self love and insecurity (sometimes masked as narcissism).
The truth of the matter is we don’t all need to be friends. Some personalities don’t mix and that’s OK. What is not ok is lashing out because you feel you don’t belong or haven’t been invited. Or making cruel and disrespectful comments due to a difference of opinion. Or pretending to like someone then treating them poorly. Just be kind or be silent.
True joy can be found and friendships and bonds can be created when we find our tribe. However, it’s a delicate balance between creating your tribe and forming a clique.
So how do we tell the difference? Here’s my criteria, feel free to create your own…
Let’s get clique out of the way…these are the girls (and sadly grown women) who come together and the dynamic is constantly changing of who is in charge. They tend to talk about whatever “friend” is not present. They purposely exclude certain friends from various activities while trying to hide such activities. When discovered they double talk and babble some lame excuse for not including their friend. They congratulate you to your face while secretly(or so they think) resenting your achievements. They are jealous when they are not the center of attention and draw attention to themselves. They are unhappy people.
Now your tribe that is the group of people you connect with on multiple levels. No one is in charge. You share serious, silly and sorrow filled moments. You fit well together and there is no jealousy when friends within the tribe get together without you. You understand you go where it works when it works and there is no hiding. Your tribe can include people you have never met in person but feel comfortable sharing your hopes and dreams. You have each other’s backs and cheer like crazy and share in each others victories with pride and admiration. You feel safe in or out of each other’s presence. They are happy people.
I have a few circles of friends that create my tribe. Not all of them know each other. This circle has been created with purpose and intention based on common interests and like hearts. Some of my tribe have connected and become friends through their friendships with me. And for those of my friends who have never met, I know they would fit together like missing puzzle pieces.
To the cliques I will smile and say hey and go about my day…
To my tribe I will ask what’s going on? I want to come or have fun. Wish I could be there. Or say let’s get together and then make it happen.
So are you in a clique or a tribe?
While we all can’t be friends we should be mature enough to coexist peacefully. Namaste.