If we look each other in the eye

I’ve gained weight. A few pounds, nothing life shattering. It is of my own doing born directly from the choices I have been making lately. It is not hindering my abilities to do the things I love, but it is making some clothing less flattering. Now I could hide away and be concerned with how this will appear to others, or I could say look me in the eye.

Typically when we feel we are not “looking our best” we do not want photos shared. We cringe and pick apart all our flaws. Pictures can be deceiving and often times are sad imitations of reality. Every once in a while we get that shot that captures the essence of who we truly are, 98% of those, in my opinion are the candid shots, the ones someone took unexpectedly where you did not pose. And yes, you might appear thicker than you are but if you eyes are smiling and there is joy emanating from you.. who cares?

Why do we spend so much time looking at each other’s appearances? What does that tell us about who we truly are as people.

If we look each other in the eye, we are less inclined to say, oh she gained a few pounds. If we look each other in the eye, we might view the rips and stains on his tattered clothing differently. If we look each other in the eye, we might notice that there is actually pain behind that smile. If we look each other in the eye, we might also discover there is anger and jealousy hidden among the encouraging posts. Yet we might also realize there is hope buried under the despair.

Why are we all so obsessed with how people look and what they weigh, or if they look older. We age, our weight fluctuates, sometimes we just want to throw on some sweats, pull our hair back and wash our face and go. Sometimes we’ve had a really rough week and little sleep and the circles under our eyes are prominent, sometimes we have the time to spruce ourselves up, put on a little make up and are shiny and new looking.. What does that have to do with who we are as a person?

Everywhere I look I am seeing reminders to be kind to ourselves, to love ourselves, that we have value. Do that many people really have to be reminded that they are worthy of love and respect? I find myself teetering between anger and sadness. How did we get to this place? Not the only reason for sure, but focusing on others appearances and pointing out each others’ “short comings” definitely contributes to low self esteem. I must admit I am guilty sometimes. When I see pictures of movie stars on occasion, or if I run into someone I haven’t seen in a while, I have to stop myself from focusing on their appearance. It is a learned behavior, one we really need to unlearn.

So are you with me? Do the eyes have it?