So I am up 12 freaking pounds.. The number in itself doesn’t bother me. My value is not tied to how much I weigh. True, I don’t love the fact that some of my clothes are tight; however, I made some wardrobe adjustments and was/am not bogged down emotionally.
The thing that is weighing heavily on me is how it has reared its ugly head. On Saturday, I went on a 7 mile hike in upstate NY with some friends. It was a glorious day, blue skies, mild temperatures. It was a moderate level hike with stunning waterfall views, a few scrambles, some stepped elevations, which definitely got the heart pumping, patches of ice, snow, mud, the whole gamut. Those 12 pounds showed up and added extra exertion to my journey. I was huffing and puffing a bit more than I would have been at my lower weight level with a more toned physique. I kicked butt and I am proud of the outcome, but I did not serve myself well by showing up less prepared than I could have been to tackle this mountain.
So how did I get here? How did this happen on my watch? How did these pounds slip onto my body? Plain and simple, I let them. I literally watched it happening, choosing to ignore it because it wasn’t effecting me.. except it was… very subtly perhaps, but it was indeed showing up.
I have been a bit more sluggish and tired lately. I have found myself performing at a slower pace. I have allowed some of my commitments to good health to become less of a priority. I have made choices that I know are not in my best interest; acting like a petulant child in my I don’t care attitude.
So today as I recall my hike, in this particular forum, I am allowing myself to have these thoughts, because they are needed in order to change direction and start heading back to a healthier me. They are fleeting and will not take hold of my memory of this amazing day, but they have planted the seed that growth is needed. Every other recollection of this experience will be a testament to the joy filled day I experienced.
Are you carrying excess weight? Physical? Emotional? Is it impacting you? Are you sure? What are you going to do about it? These are questions I ask myself from time to time to keep my footing and change direction when I lose my way.
Wherever My Heart Lead Me 
Hello Teresa !!
I love that photo… ice falls are so amazing to see. They grow so slowly a drop at a time and then seem to suddenly be there in their full grown glory that we cannot possibly miss seeing them.
A bit like the number on the scale, no? It grows usually ever so slowly … until suddenly we cannot miss the changes that were so very tiny in themselves. Yet have created, when their results are combined into that single number, the changes that we can no longer ignore.
I know you will reverse the results, by making the wee little changes back to your healthier life-style. Maybe it is adding back a bit more thought into what you feed your body… or maybe it is adding back that walk around the block that has somehow lost its place of honor in your life-style plan.
Maybe it is finding the WW group that sparks your focus… what ever the changes are … I KNOW You will succeed. After all you need to be able to play a rough game of kick-ball with the Grands !! (just as long as they will let you play).
We all have at least one something that we want to change… would that we all find our way to succeed.
Hugs, Audra
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You did a great job on your hike!
Charlotte 🌿
http://www.arvorlife.com 🌊
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